by Kaiburr

[thud] [clang] 

YODA: Your dead you will bring out! [clang] 
Your dead you will bring out! [clang] 
Your dead you will bring out  [clang] 
Your dead you will bring out! [clang] 
Your dead you will bring out! [cough cough...] [clang] [...cough cough] 
Your dead you will bring out! [clang] 
Your dead you will bring out! [clang] 
Your dead you will bring out! Nine credits. [clang] 
Your dead you will bring out! [clang] 
Your dead you will bring out! [clang] 
Your dead [rewr!] ... you will bring out, yes! [rewr!] [clang] 
Your dead you will bring out!

OBI-WAN: Here's one.

YODA: Nine credits, that will be.

QUI-GON: I'm not dead!

YODA: What?

OBI-WAN: Nothing. Here's your nine credits.

QUI-GON: I'm not dead!

YODA: Claims he is not dead, he does!

OBI-WAN: Yes, he is.

QUI-GON: I'm not!

YODA: Is he not?

OBI-WAN: Well, he will be soon. He's just been run through with a lightsabre.

QUI-GON: I'm getting better!

OBI-WAN: No, you're not. You'll be one with the Force in a moment.

YODA: Take him like that, I can not. Against the Code, it is.

QUI-GON: I don't want to go on the pyre!

OBI-WAN: Oh, don't be such a baby.

YODA: Take him like that, I can not.

QUI-GON: I feel fine!

OBI-WAN: Well, do us a favour.

YODA: Unable to, I am.

OBI-WAN: Well, can you hang around a couple of minutes? He won't be long.

YODA: No, return to Coruscant I must. Need my archaic mutterings, the Council does.

OBI-WAN: Well, when's your next round?

YODA: Thursday.

QUI-GON: I think I'll go for a walk.

OBI-WAN: You're not fooling anyone, you know. Look. Isn't there something you can do?

QUI-GON: [singing] I feel the Force. I feel happy. [YODA whops QUI-GON over the head with his gimmer stick.]

OBI-WAN: Ah, thanks very much. [dumps QUI-GON on funeral pyre.]

YODA: Thank me, you need not. See you on Thursday, I will.

OBI-WAN: Right. All right.

THE END (thank goodness.)