07/07/01: I knew in my heart that I'd never be afraid again (conclusion)
by Shadow Kitty, AKA Jen
 

That night as Jean tried to go to sleep, her mind was on the boy she had seen during the calibration exercise. She had to see him again, to feel him again. The moment she was able to fall asleep, she felt herself being pulled quickly through clear space. She did not dare open her eyes because she was not sure what she would see. She was scared somewhat of what was out there. She landed with a heavy thump against a hard, padded object. Her head was no longer spinning. She opened her right eye carefully and then her left eye.

There were pine trees all around her. She could hear the sound of the rushing water from a nearby stream. The trees were covered in the morning frost and snow laid at the foot of the trees. The sky was a beautiful blue: The same shade she had seen in the professor's picture.

"How strange." She had a strong feeling she was asleep but it was so real. So was the screaming.

"Hellllllp!!!!" Screamed someone from behind her. She turned around and saw two boys in a single parachute that was on fire, and coming towards her at an alarmingly fast rate. One boy was incoherently screaming while the other boy, the boy who the little one was strapped to, was trying to calm the little one down.

Jean attempted to send her mind to the boy to calm him down, but her attempt was fruitless. The pair crashed landed two feet away from her as a sonic ripple erupted in the sky. The trees and the sky melted away, leaving Jean rather dizzy. Jean was off balance from the quick change in surroundings. She was now in a plaster walled building with beds set out on either side of the room. Other than for the beds, the room was very empty.

"What are you doing here?," said a voice from behind her.

Jean blinked as she attempted to regain her footing. "I don't know." As she felt her balance return, she turned to the boy who addressed her. It was that boy: The boy she had seen during the calibration exercise. He was also the older boy who was in the parachute.

They looked at each other for what seemed liked hours before either of them spoke. "I'm Jean," she said in a low voice. "What's your name?"

Scott was not sure what to think of her. Something about her was not right. He could not place his finger on what it was about her. "I'm Scott," he finally said. "You should not be in here, Jean. They don't like girl's being in the boy's dorm. I don't want to see you get punished."

Jean just shock her head. She had a distinct feeling that no one else was on the grounds. "It will be all right, Scott. No one is going to catch me." She sat on a bed, as she kept her eyes on Scott.

He watched her and for some unknown reason, he decided to take a seat on a bed that was next to her. "How can you be so sure about that?"

Jean shrugged as she smiled. "I just know. Trust me."

"Trust you? I don't even know you." There were very few people he could trust at the orphanage. He did not even know  this girl. There was no reason for him to trust her...but there was something about her. Something that made him want to trust her. He closed his eyes, and pushed out the thought. "What are you doing here, Jean?," he restated.

"I...I wanted to talk to someone," she bit down a little on her lower lip and continued to keep her green eyes on him.  "Talk to someone? So you picked me?" Scott had to be the one who was singled out. He was a shadow most of the time. Why couldn't this girl see that?

 Jean shrugged. Her green eyes glinted with the light. "I had seen you before. You looked like you needed someone to talk to."

 "I'm not really in the mood for talking." Who was he kidding? He averted his eyes from her.

 "You don't have to talk about yourself, Scott...could I ask you something?"

Scott glanced back to Jean. Nobody had seen her yet. "Why not?," he replied somewhat sarcastically. "I have nothing better to do."

At that, she was not sure exactly what to say. She tapped her finger on her leg, then started: "About two years ago, my best  friend, Annie, was killed when we were playing Frisbee on my front yard. I threw it way too high and it was a blind curb, and Annie was hit. The driver didn't even slow down and he didn't even see her. He just went right on through; ending one life, and shutting down another. I blamed myself for Annie's death. I would replay the scene over and over in my head and think about what I could have done that was different. And you know what? There was nothing I could have done to prevent Annie's death. As much as I wanted it to be my fault, it just wasn't. I shut down after it happened. I could not talk to anyone about it because they never got through to me...they had no idea what I was going through. I was scared to let anyone get close to me because I had convinced myself that it was my fault that Annie died. I also convinced myself that if I was to get close to anyone again, that they would end up like Annie. I felt myself die with her Scott...I did not want it to happen again."

What she was saying, all of it, he could relate with. There situations were different, but there was a common thread in both of their situations. He started telling her about how he felt about the situation that he found himself in. He did not know why he told a complete stranger about his past...but he knew she understood. He blamed himself for his and Alex's parents death. He would replay the day, to the best of his recollection, in his mind. Something had hit the family plane, and then they were going down. There was only one parachute. Scott wanted his brother to have it, while he and his parents would parish in the crash. It all happened too fast. Even though their combined weight exceeded the weight limits of the parachute, Christopher and Katherine Summers placed their two young sons into the harness. Even though it was the harness that saved Scott's and his brother's life, the parachute caught on fire. Instead of landing on his feet, Scott landed on his head, leaving him with irreversible brain damage. He was in a coma for weeks at the hospital, while his brother was brought to the orphanage. Scott blamed himself for not being there for his brother when he needed him the most.

When everything was said and done, Scott, like Jean, felt a lot better. He did not know why he told her everything that had happened, including his worse nightmare, but somehow, because of it, he knew in his heart that he'd never ever be afraid again.

  -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------

Jean woke up refreshed. Even though she had pushed her powers to an extent she had never tried before; her body was not at all affected. What a wonderful night she had had. At first, she was a bit shaky, like the first time she had tried to send her mind outward, but she quickly got over it. She had never felt as close to anyone as close as she felt to Scott in that short amount of time. She told him she would see him tonight as well. She left her room with a dance to her step, and made her way down the stairs. She could hardly wait!! Everything would be great. They would talk some more and maybe they  would be able to meet in real live, sometime, even if he was stuck in Nebraska.

After she danced down the stairs, she could hear talking from the professor's study at the bottom of the stairs. She was curious who he was talking to, but she knew it was not her business, so she sat down on the bottom stair, and waited for the professor to be finished with his phone call. She couldn't wait to tell him what she did. He might be mad, because she did try her ability in a new way unsupervised, but then, he would be proud, because she found someone who she could really relate with... someone who was going through similar stuff that she was going through.

Exhausted, Professor Xavier wheeled out of the room a few minutes later. He looked very pale and there were small bags  beneath his eyes. Jean stood up and came right to his side. "What is it, Professor?"

Xavier did not look at her for a moment. Closer, Jean could tell that he was holding back tears.

"What is it? What is wrong?," she prompted.

Xavier took in a breath then started: "That was your father. He wishes that you return home now that you are finished with your counseling and treatments." Jean blinked. "I'm cured? But I thought...you said there is still to learn."

Xavier nodded. "There is. But you are not ready to take on the training. You are only thirteen years old, Jean, your ability still has not developed completely. I was hoping you would stay here longer. Under many years of tutelage, you would  reach your full potential. Without my supervision, I am afraid that your development might go awry. It is for this reason that I regret to tell you that in order for this not to occur, I must place more blocks in your mind to literally shut off your telepathy completely. You will still have full control over you telekinesis, however."

She could tell he struggled with every word. On instinct, she embraced him, in an effort to console them both. She had been hit with so many thing at once: going home, never seeing Professor Xavier, Scott, or Ms. MacTaggert again. Remarkably, she had no anger whatsoever for her parent's wanting of their little girl to return home. She could not blame Professor Xavier for that. She couldn't help but feel that she was throwing everything she had learned in the past nine months away. She had learned so much in that time, she had experienced so much in that time, that there was no going back.

He hugged her tightly back. "There is an upside to this, Jean. I have plans to open a school in the next few years, for gifted youngsters: Others like you who are endowed with Mutant gifts that they are unable to control. I will train them to the best of my abilities, so that they are capable young men and women who can handle themselves in combat situations. I never made you aware of this, Jean, because at the time I did not think you needed to know, but these are tense times. Mutant hysteria is growing day-by-day at an alarming rate. I want those who join me to help me shed some light on the truth of what some people in Washington are calling the "Mutant menace." I want human and mutant kind to live in peace and harmony with one another. This will never happen unless I and others take a stand. What I would like to know is Jean, are you willing to join the fight?"

Jean listened to every word that he said. It made a lot of sense to her. This could be a way that she could repay him. A smile crossed her lips. "Of course, Professor, I will join with you."

Xavier let go of the hug and Jean backed away. "At that time, I can take down the barriers and allow you to have control over your telepathy once more. At that time, your telepathy should have developed completely." He wiped away the tears that had come down his cheeks during the hug. They went around back towards his office door. "The procedure does not last very long, but you will be in a bit of pain for a few minutes."

Jean followed Xavier as he went into his office. She knew deep down that everything was going to turn out for the best. Even if she did not have the vast power at her grasp, she told herself she would feel no different for she would still have her telekinesis. What she worried about the most on that short walk to the professor's office was that she would never see Scott again. She would give up the entirety of her power just to speak to him one last time.

  -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------

It had been some hours since Jean left. Xavier was going to miss having her around. He felt sorry for the girl, but what he did had to be done. Unbeknownst to her, he was aware of her meeting with Scott by picking up on her stray surface thoughts. With such intensity, there was very little way that he could block her thoughts about Scott out. He wrote down the boy's name under Jean's name on a piece of paper. He would find that boy and bring him to the school eventually, and Jean would get to really see the one she loves again. He had a feeling that the passion that Jean was feeling was not young love, but a love that did not need to be ended.

  -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------

Epilogue - Five years later...

Jean was nervous about returning to the school. It has been five years and in those five years, a lot had changed. No longer was she a nervous girl who was unsure of herself as well as her abilities. Now she was a capable young woman who held a greater control of the abilities that she possessed. Her telepathy was still locked thanks to the barriers that Professor Xavier had placed in her mind five years prior. Soon, she would have ability over her telepathy once more.

When he called her, Xavier had told her that there were now four other students at the school. She felt a little jealous about not being Professor's prized student anymore, but she would, of course, be more than willing to work with them. She hoped two things: One, that the students were nice, and two, that if any of the students were guys, she hoped that at least one of them would be cute.

"Here's the place. Look's spooky if you ask me," the cabby said as he brought the cab to a stop a little more than twenty feet from the door.

"Thank you," she said graciously as she opened the door and stepped out.

When Jean was away from the cab, the cabby drove away quickly from the mansion, trying to forget the eeriness. As Jean walked towards the door, she watched three guys gawking at her from the second story window. She smiled and continued towards the door.

From above...

"Oh, what a pretty she is!," Hank said with a very large smile.

"Let me see!! Out of the way, Hank! You're blocking the window!," Bobby said from behind Hank.

Warren watched from Hank's right side. "Honestly, neither of you will have a shot with her. She'll be mine by next week." Slim stood off to the far side of the room, arms crossed over his chest. Sure he could see why the others were so excited: It  was a girl. An honest to goodness real girl...who just happened to be a Mutant like the rest of them. Scott knew he did not have a shot, so he did not even try to bother. Besides, he was way too shy. He would come across like a total geek if he tried to even speak to her. He had nothing the others had. Warren was suave and had the looks, while Bobby and Hank had magnetic personalities. What did he have? He was scrawny, his brown hair was flat, and he had to wear large bothersome glasses in order to keep his powers in check.

After Jean was out of view, Hank bounced away from the window. "Come on boys, we have a lady to meet." He looked over to Slim. "Come on, Slim, come with us to meet the lady." Slim was caught up in his own thoughts for a moment. He did not even register Hank's voice. "Oh, I, oh, don't think so. Professor Xavier wants me to run through a danger room simulation."

"Come on, Slim, there's time for working out in the danger room later. Don't you want to meet the lady? You never know, it may turn out that you're the one she falls for." All of the guys had a good laugh, except for Slim, who found his face had turned red with embarrassment.

Below...

Jean put all of her nervous feelings to rest as she knocked on the door. "Well, here goes nothing."

A moment later the door opened. Jean walked inside and saw Professor Xavier sitting in his wheel chair a few feet away. He looked a little older, but the expression on his face was a pleasant one to see again.

"Welcome, Miss Grey. I am Professor Charles Francis Xavier, and this is my school for gifted youngsters; youngsters who are gifted with an extra gene, the X-Factor gene, which endows them with extraordinary abilities. I myself am like you and the other students here: A Mutant. My school is designed to educate young Mutants in how to control their abilities as well as the training that will be needed in surviving in a world that hates and fears Mutants simply because we are different. Humanity, for the most part, is not evil, just misinformed. You will find yourself eventually in battles with men and women who wish to bring the world to its knees simply because they have the power to do so."

Jean nodded. She was not surprised that she got to hear the entire spiel. It was just in the case the other students happened to be there. Just then, she heard a loud rumble coming down the stairs. She couldn't help but smile. "It is a pleasure to meet you, Professor Xavier. I am willing to fight. I think it is a good fight."

Xavier nodded. "Welcome aboard then, Miss Grey. I hope you survive the experience." He motioned to the stairs with his hand. "That noise that you hear would be the other four students who attend this institution."

Hank, Bobby, and Warren, upon reaching the bottom of the stairs, raced for Jean. It seemed to Jean that it was their own game to see who could reach her first. The smile already on her face widened.

"Miss Grey, let me introduce you to my other students. The blond boy on your left is Warren Worthington III, code-named Angel."

Warren's eyes sparkled as he looked down at Jean. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Miss Grey."

"The boy right in front of you is Hank McCoy, code-named Beast."

"Hi good lookin," Hank said with a wink.

"The boy on your right is Bobby Drake, code-named Iceman."

"Hi Miss Grey. It's nice there is finally a girl here," he said with a big grin.

"And finally, the on who is standing by the foot of the stairs is Slim Summers, code-named Cyclops."

Jean looked past the three guys in front of her and looked directly at Slim. There was something about him. Something strangely familiar about him that she could not place. She had seen him. Somewhere. She was just unsure where, but she did know him. She got a very distinct feeling that she knew him quite well in fact.

Xavier glanced over at Jean, already seeing how eager the boys were as they watched her. "Jean, I think a demonstration is in order."

"You must be really tired, Miss Gray. Maybe you would like to sit down?" Hank looked directly to Slim. "Slim, get the lady a seat."

Slim walked away from the stairs to a table in the other room, and brought back a chair. Suddenly, the chair flew from Slim's hands, and moved under its own power toward Jean.

 "Slim, you klutz!"

 Slim looked shocked. "I...I didn't do that!"

Jean smiled then sat down. "That was my doing." From the looks of bewilderment on the four boys faces, she could tell the did not know what she meant. "Maybe I could elaborate. I am gifted with telekinesis. Telekinesis is the ability to move objects with but a thought." Jean looked to the book case that was against the wall in the adjoining room. She concentrated on one of the books and removed it from the shelf. It floated into the room and stopped a few feet from Hank. "If I was bored, I would occupy myself by removing a book from a shelf. Sometimes, this got too easy, so I would open it." The book opened and turned upside down. "After doing this enough times, I would think of something else to do, and place the book back." The book closed then returned to its place on the shelf. Jean looked at Slim. There was just... suddenly she remembered. He looked incredibly a lot like Scott, the boy she had seen and then visited five years ago during her first stay at the mansion. She silently hopped to herself that Slim and Scott were one and the same.

Jean smirked at Slim, and Slim's cheeks turned a little pink from embarrassment. While watching him, Jean felt her insecurities about herself and with the others slip away. She felt something for Slim. She was not quite sure what exactly it was (it was more than either lust or love). There was something to it then just a feeling...It was closer to a hunger that she felt, really. Whatever it was, Jean did not have an exact word for it, but she did know one thing: She knew it would only get better.

Dear Diary, I saw him again today--at least, it looked like it could have been him several years later. Today was the first time I returned to the mansion since the professor cured me...and I have to confess to being a little jealous that  I'm not his only student. But, if I had to spend everyday in class with Slim Summers...I might not work so hard to  pass algebra...

Jean closed the book then locked it with her golden key. She smiled happily to herself as she laid down to go to sleep. Everything...would be okay, plus the man that was a boy, who she had felt a strong attraction to, was finally with her in life, and nothing -nothing- would separate them. She reached for the switch on the lamp that sat on the dresser next to her bed and switched it off. She did not need sweet dreams in sleep for she was living the sweetest dreams when she was awake.